Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
