Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i believe in u and ur pee
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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