I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
