Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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