we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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