she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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