fuck your aforementioned shoe
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
