I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize