we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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