he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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