Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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