So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
