I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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