I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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