Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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