Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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