He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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