I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This toilet bowl is my home.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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