I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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