I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
