Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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