All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
