morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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