PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
