Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
