I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
