yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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