hell yes lets make some ravioli
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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