it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
