i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
