6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
