So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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