Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
