Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My feet surprised me
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