no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
