She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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