Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
