I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
