belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
her vagine was all disorganized.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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