I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
