Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize