so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
