Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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