I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize