Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
