I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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