Hey man sorry I got all grabby
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
