dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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