i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
