We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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