I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
