Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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