She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
