you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
