She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
