Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
from now on my penis is your penis
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
