5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just found a bag of teeth...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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