This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
