Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
