i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.