I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.