Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels