We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.