you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
