you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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