I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
