He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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