IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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