she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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