saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
