There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
